Chicken suya, an emetic aid

A review from the start

A review is subjectively a random stranger's opinion of an experience they've had. I never think of an experience as one where I've been selected to receive the good or the bad of a service. This is why I take reviews seriously: the experience of many averages out to net good, net bad, or neither good nor bad.

Having a desire for something spicy, I tried to access a website on my phone. I'd forgotten it wasn't mobile-friendly; you could select all you wanted, but you'd never be presented with the checkout button because it was obscured by other webpage elements.

Now, consider this: you have an account on the said website and, having logged in and made your order, you'd expect that order to be retained for a session on another device with the same credentials. Perish the thought.

It did not get better

I made my order, supplied my phone number, email address, and home address with a view to collecting it from the shop rather than opting for home delivery. Even after paying through the banking system they offered, I got no confirmation of my order sent to any of the personal details I'd shared. I had to take a screenshot as confirmation.

Then I called an Uber to take me to the shop, and for the second time, I arrived before my order was registered on their system. My screenshot and banking transaction confirm I have a bona fide order.

Only now, what I'd ordered had run out, and I was offered an unappealing alternative that, for the journey I'd made, I tolerated. Soon, I was given my takeaway, which was a lower price compared to what I'd wanted. A bit of back and forth ensued before he realised I was due some change.

I've never suffered worse

When I tucked into it as I walked back home, it was nothing like I'd expected. I would have enjoyed a Nando's takeaway for less, with two sides and a lot of tasty bits to eat. Chicken suya is no substitute for beef suya, even on the worst of days.

And Suya Republic, Chester Road, you missed a treat: the apparently XL portion was as parsimonious as a chicken on Ozempic, and having to quibble for change when you couldn't fulfil the order I'd originally paid for was unfortunate. I'll remember this long enough not to grace your stoep with my interest again.

My lesson learnt

Never pay upfront. Have enough time to wait for your order at the shop when you visit. The food is good enough; the service, however, is tolerable to abysmal.

Alright, I happened upon this place on one of my wanderings around Manchester. This was my fifth visit.