Nigeria, off my mind
On the first of
October, Nigeria celebrated its 65th year of independence; however, in my mind,
I let the day slip away with a sense of the uneventful.
As the thought
crossed my mind, I realised that, despite the heritage, childhood
experiences, memories, and influences, these are all vital parts of my being,
though my affinity for Nigeria has diminished to the phrase, ‘my parents are
Nigerian’.
Thirty-five years
after I left Nigeria for the final time, I have no desire to visit or revisit
any part of the seemingly privileged, idyllic childhood I once experienced
there.
Even so, I am as
estranged as anyone can be from any of the relations and relationships that
once contributed to what might be called a sense of identity. It was a place;
it was never home.
Relating to Nigeria
The independence days
of yore, when Nigeria was still a young nation, were celebrated under a series
of murderous military juntas, whose many names and roles I still recall. How
we endured the sweltering heat on parade grounds, ready to march before military
governors taking the salute on a dais.
One cannot forget how
the Nigerian anthem of that era, written in 1959 but replaced by
socialist-themed lyrics in 1978, remained etched in the mind as more
representative of Nigeria’s story, until it was readopted in 2024. Although I
have not personally sung it again, it felt like a Nigeria I could relate to.
Belonging elsewhere
My sense of belonging
today is to the land of my birth and a land of my dreams, along with a land of
desire from where I found a love beyond compare, England, South Africa, and
Zimbabwe.
Nigeria is a place I
view from 10,000 metres when travelling at a land speed of 960 kilometres per
hour. The moving map on the aeroplane shows cities as we traverse from the
middle of the north through to the southeast into Cameroon.
As I get less
encumbered by detachment, I appreciate Nigeria’s contribution without acceding
to any concept of being possessed by it. It was a place I was taken to, a place
where I never truly belonged.
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