tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3540911873094895295.post3675971750622089132..comments2024-03-20T01:16:54.017+00:00Comments on Akin Akintayo: UK/Nigeria: Looks more like a sexuality crisisAkin Akintayohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14254117443398207562noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3540911873094895295.post-17470323741541330442011-04-28T13:48:22.540+01:002011-04-28T13:48:22.540+01:00Happy new year Akin! I don't think i've le...Happy new year Akin! I don't think i've left a comment here yet this year. <br><br>It's interesting that you introduced the angle of sexuality. I came across hints of this in online chatter but found nothing in the news reports. So for now, i'll take it as speculation but if it's true that he is gay, then your analysis is probably correct. <br><br><br>My thoughts on the matter are that regardless of the reasons his parents wanted to send him back to Nigeria, they badly mismanaged the situation. The mother has either been poorly advised or she was bent on doing what she wanted, even if it violated the proper process by law. <br><br>I wondered why she would blatantly defy the protection order by sending him back and then not making sure he was returned to England as the judge ordered. My theory is that she was trying to beat the clock because if he turned 18 on British soil, she would lose the legal ability to choose where he should live. <br><br>If his behaviour was indeed getting out of hand (assuming it was gang related as others have claimed), the mum should have moved back with him and definitely when he was younger, maybe 15 or 16. I think they left it too late to intervene in this way at 17. <br><br>This story caught my eye because of people railing against the court system and Western values that put the mother in jail for trying to 'discipline' her child. But when i read more, it became clear that the problem is not from the court. It's obvious that something has been going wrong between the parents and the boy for a while now. In this situation, the authorities and the courts have to be extra careful because they are dealing with a minor so i think they are just trying to do their duty (even if in a harsh manner). <br><br>Of course, it's possible that the boy's allegations are false and that with the help of others, he has latched on to this story of false marriage. However once the matter had reached the court, the mum should have tried to address it there not take the law into her own hands. Perhaps the dad was also part of the plan, but now she's the only one left paying for that decision.culturesouphttp://culturesoup.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3540911873094895295.post-73151842020401922312011-02-18T04:16:53.385+00:002011-02-18T04:16:53.385+00:00Hello CultureSoup,
Happy New Year to you too.
I ...Hello CultureSoup,<br /><br />Happy New Year to you too.<br /><br />I think you hit on one interesting area of parenting where parents confuse possession of their wards with relationship building that engenders agreement on all sides.<br /><br />I believe the law should be upheld until the young man is returned to the UK for the courts to hear his own view on the matter and an independent psychological evaluation of his situation is assessed.<br /><br />If parents can thumb their noses at the provisions of the Forced Marriage Act and hold the courts in contempt without appropriately addressing the matter to the satisfaction of the requirements of the law, that law becomes useless and it offers none of the protections it aspires.<br /><br />We would really see if all parties want a resolution to the crisis over time.<br /><br />Regards,<br /><br />AkinAkin Akintayohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14254117443398207562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3540911873094895295.post-71761334236777374552011-02-17T22:30:40.786+00:002011-02-17T22:30:40.786+00:00Happy new year Akin! I don't think i've le...Happy new year Akin! I don't think i've left a comment here yet this year. <br /><br />It's interesting that you introduced the angle of sexuality. I came across hints of this in online chatter but found nothing in the news reports. So for now, i'll take it as speculation but if it's true that he is gay, then your analysis is probably correct. <br /><br /><br />My thoughts on the matter are that regardless of the reasons his parents wanted to send him back to Nigeria, they badly mismanaged the situation. The mother has either been poorly advised or she was bent on doing what she wanted, even if it violated the proper process by law. <br /><br />I wondered why she would blatantly defy the protection order by sending him back and then not making sure he was returned to England as the judge ordered. My theory is that she was trying to beat the clock because if he turned 18 on British soil, she would lose the legal ability to choose where he should live. <br /><br />If his behaviour was indeed getting out of hand (assuming it was gang related as others have claimed), the mum should have moved back with him and definitely when he was younger, maybe 15 or 16. I think they left it too late to intervene in this way at 17. <br /><br />This story caught my eye because of people railing against the court system and Western values that put the mother in jail for trying to 'discipline' her child. But when i read more, it became clear that the problem is not from the court. It's obvious that something has been going wrong between the parents and the boy for a while now. In this situation, the authorities and the courts have to be extra careful because they are dealing with a minor so i think they are just trying to do their duty (even if in a harsh manner). <br /><br />Of course, it's possible that the boy's allegations are false and that with the help of others, he has latched on to this story of false marriage. However once the matter had reached the court, the mum should have tried to address it there not take the law into her own hands. Perhaps the dad was also part of the plan, but now she's the only one left paying for that decision.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3540911873094895295.post-39090311835625798872011-02-16T02:30:21.868+00:002011-02-16T02:30:21.868+00:00Hello CodLiverOil,
I got involved in a Facebook e...Hello CodLiverOil,<br /><br />I got involved in a Facebook exchange with someone who probably could read but lacked comprehension of how the law works and the facts of the case.<br /><br />In fact, he is not British but Nigerian, however, since he was resident in the UK and apparently forcibly removed from the UK for a forced marriage or sexuality-aversion therapy, he had protections of UK law having obtained a protection order against his parents.<br /><br />Sahara Reporters attempts to document the whole story but fails objective reporting as usual since it has not editorial policy of note.<br /><br />The sides to the issue are traditional Nigerian parenting rooted in archaic ideas and so-called traditions as opposed to understanding better child-rearing for these times.<br /><br />Misconceptions exist about Western influences and it not so much that but parents who do not seem to have enough time for their kids because the pressures of life that they think quick fixes like beatings, exorcisms and drastic punishments will suffice.<br /><br />It is a deep issue.<br /><br />Regards,<br /><br />AkinAkin Akintayohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14254117443398207562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3540911873094895295.post-4392718833288305182011-02-15T14:49:41.641+00:002011-02-15T14:49:41.641+00:00No word about the Father, other than he had a high...No word about the Father, other than he had a high profile job. Had the mother 'super-glued' his mouth? Or had she threatened to beat him up to? (I guess her husband must have looked beyond her violent streak...)<br /><br />How can you beat someone who is 17 years of age? Maybe if the mother had decided to sit down and talk him (her son) she would have got further. Imagine beating your child into submission, (all that exposure to Western civilisation [ie living in England] obviously made no impact on her) sad thing is that it's not unusual either.<br /><br />Edirin is lucky he's a British citizen, otherwise who knows what may have happened to him as a Nigerian?<br /><br />Everyone has their lives to lead, that is what parents must come to understand. Behaving like a primitive person who thinks violence is the answer to everything is unwise to put it mildly. <br /><br />Let us hope they all learn to reconcile and accept the situation for what it is.CodLiverOilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11065155093164512390noreply@blogger.com