Sunday, 20 October 2013

Storify: Turakin Mandate in Corrective Reluctance

Turakin Mandate in Corrective Reluctance

Turakin Mandate in Corrective Reluctance

This is a series of tweets where a suggestion to correct grammatical errors in English became a reflection of the Nigerian psyche. I lost my original notes. Please read, without prejudice.
    • But what about the Golden Eaglets win? 6-1! I just hope that score doesn't cause diplomatic problems #smile
      • Here Atiku Abubakar, Vice-President of Nigeria (1999 - 2007) tweets about the FIFA U-17 World Cup, where Nigeria beats Mexico 6-1.

        It looks like the "diplomatic problems" part would stir up something.
        • Atiku for President! SMH. "@atiku: But what about the Golden Eaglets win? 6-1! I just hope that score doesn't cause diplomatic problems."
          • Pa Ikhide as he is known, takes a dig at Atiku Abubakar regarding his ambitions to be the president of Nigeria.
            He takes no prisoners when it comes to Nigerian politicians.

            SMH = Shaking My Head.
            • @ikhide @manipeters This is all about Eaglets win over the Mexcans not about 2015 and @atiku Presidential bid.
              • Turakin Mandate?
                Aha! Turakin Adamawa is a chieftaincy title given to Atiku Abubakar, it would appear Turakin Mandate is a Twitter account setup as vehicle to seek the mandate of Nigerians for the presidency.
                Already, they left the I out of the word Mexicans.

                What else have they done?
                • @TurakinMandate @ManiPeters @atiku "The Turakin Mandate is an NGO meant to upheld the Strides of Alhaji Atiku." Pls correct that sentence.
                  • Pa Ikhide like any good Twitter user checks the profile of Turakin Mandate and finds grammatical errors.
                    Perish the thought.
                    Sorry, keep the thought, there are problems with that sentence in quotes.
                    I think the language in use is English, I believe the language has rules of grammar, common to anyone with a basic understanding of English.
                    He politely asks them to correct it like anyone would. Will they?
                      • Oh no. Turakin Mandate takes no corrections, certainly no grammatical corrections, they have their own English style and grammar rules.
                        I hope they send me a copy autographed by the Turakin Adamawa himself, I'll treasure it.

                        Or maybe, it is putting Pa Ikhide in his place. How dare he attempt to correct the grammar of a Nigerian big-man, you accept the errors of your betters and correct the errors of those beneath you.
                        The effrontery, the gall.
                        God save Pa Ikhide from the wrath of those who can act with impunity, I pray.
                        • @TurakinMandate @ManiPeters @atiku "Upheld" should be "uphold." The sentence is grammatically wrong. That's embarrassing...
                          • Pa Ikhide insists, yes, he insists very strongly demonstrating that the tenses are wrong and offering the correction.
                            A very kind and tolerant man, Pa Ikhide is.
                            At the risk of martyrdom, he fights to uphold standards of English so that errors are not upheld.
                            He insists the grammatical errors are an embarrassment.
                            I shiver, I quake, I quiver, I pass out .... I return to finish this narrative, I hope something happens, this is bad, really bad.
                            Pa Ikhide, are you OK?
                            • @TurakinMandate @ManiPeters @atiku And "Strides" should be "strides." You need an editor... Never mind!
                              • Pa Ikhide is on a crusade, he is a one-man militia upholding the right to bear arms against the tyranny of bad grammar in the public space.

                                Editor? Surely for just one sentence one must not waste scarce resources.
                                Nonsense, Turakin Adamawa not only has deep pockets, he has a university with I hope, a languages department that strives for excellence.
                                I think I am being facetious and Pa Ikhide is about to give up against an unyielding force of bad grammar.
                                Strides should never be written as a proper noun, but we need to see their rule book.
                                • @atiku @TurakinMandate The writer said "Meant to Upheld" I think both tallies @ikhide I think u meed revisit pry sch...
                                  • Christopher Okagbare? I wonder who he is.

                                    Gosh! He fell for that common mistake in English grammar on tenses, surely some mistake, but he did.
                                    Seeing the past tense of mean, he thinks it should be followed by the past tense of uphold.
                                    *Covering my eyes* I can't, I can't, I will.
                                    He also got his number agreement wrong, it should have been, I think both tally.
                                    Then, is that a spelling mistake or in praise of bad grammar? The use of meed instead of need, this is getting nasty.
                                    He sends Pa Ikhide back to primary school to learn bad English, I wonder if Pa Ikhide would take up that offer.
                                    • @ikhide d "Strides" used instead of "strides" as u suggested was for emphasis purpose. Teacher dnt teach me nonsense @atiku @TurakinMandate
                                      • Christopher belongs to the crowd, those accept the unacceptable and never question the questionable. Worse still, he appears to prefer error to correction.

                                        Gosh! The word arrangement is atrocious, I guess what he meant to say was, strides is capitalised for the purpose of emphasis. Really?
                                        "Teacher don't teach me nonsense." This is a quote of Fela Anikulapo-Kuti who according to Wikipedia "was a Nigerian multi-instrumentalist musician and composer, pioneer of Afrobeat music, human rights activist, and political maverick."
                                        Christopher is insisting Pa Ikhide is wrong, I guess Christopher needs help.
                                        • Oh ASUU! "@sheikokagbare: @atiku @TurakinMandate The writer said "Meant to Upheld" I think both tallies I think u meed revisit pry sch..."
                                          • Pa Ikhide is exasperated as he cries, "Oh ASUU!"

                                            ASUU is the Academic Staff Union of Universities in Nigeria, they have been on strike for months, in fact, they've been on strike forever and that tells with the quality of graduates hatched out of Nigerian universities today who are lacking in rigour, application or ability. Very sad indeed.
                                            Christopher is probably one of those half-baked graduands regurgitated like vomit from a third-rate university where English grammar has been given up for grunts and sighs.
                                            • Dear Mallam @atiku, Is this sentence correct? "The Turakin Mandate is an NGO meant to upheld the Strides of Atiku..," cc @TurakinMandate
                                              • Meanwhile, Pa Ikhide persists, driven by the desire for excellence and he appeals to the Tarakin Adamawa himself who like us received quality education in a Nigeria long past and part of history.

                                                I hold my breath. Will this work? Will change come?
                                                • @sheikokagbare You may be interested to know that the sentence has been corrected (partially). It is not your fault. @atiku @TurakinMandate
                                                  • Success! The errors were corrected. Laurels for Pa Ikhide and a turning up of the nose at Christopher.
                                                    I guess Christopher should now go back to a primary school where the fundamental rules of good English grammar are taught.
                                                    • @ikhide Per adventure you are right, so what's the big deal? The msg from @TurakinMandate is still passed across. CC: @atiku
                                                      • Per adventure? Excuse me! I give up!

                                                        Does Christopher need a radical lobotomy to accept the very basic rules of grammar? This is an emergency.
                                                        I thought the message was using the basic rules of grammar but Christopher is satisfied with error, it makes you wonder how many more errors he would allow for the sake of expediency, this is worrisome.
                                                        I hope Christopher is not a pilot. Perish that thought.
                                                        This is what we do, we celebrate mediocrity and tolerate incompetence as long as there seems to be any activity, that is accomplishment.
                                                        We face great peril in Nigeria with this kind of mindset and it is the prevailing one, the "what is the big deal?" mindset.
                                                        • @ikhide But how does one "uphold strides" of another ? Dem wan send metaphor go ICU. Lol.
                                                          • Use your imagination, like striding on the heads of the downtrodden, maybe that this a bit severe, let's try clouds.

                                                            The metaphor is in cardiac arrest, is there a doctor in the house?
                                                            • *dead* @atiku's boys are illiterate! "@OSoyombo: @ikhide But how does one "uphold strides" of another ? Dem wan send metaphor go ICU. Lol."
                                                              • Laughter! Within that effusive compliment is a damning verdict, illiteracy and obduracy.
                                                                The inability to take polite advice and make amends.

                                                                People associated with power who automatically think they are powerful too, assuming air and delusions of grandeur.
                                                                Moving on ...
                                                                • @OSoyombo Instead of thanking me, the olodos were beating their chests & raking! Ah, between ASUU & our rogue government, Nigeria is doomed!
                                                                  • Gratitude? Surely not.

                                                                    Olodos is a Yoruba-English construct written as the plural of dunces.
                                                                    Pa Ikhide takes no prisoners.
                                                                    • @ikhide Ah!, I swear. Upholding "the strides" of another grown man sounds like a ritual your Pastor wouldn't you to participate in.
                                                                      • At this rather bizarre ritual, it is time to end this narrative.
                                                                        May we find the grace to uphold what should be upheld and know when not to uphold what should not be upheld with humility and gratitude.
                                                                      ** PLEASE DESCRIBE THIS IMAGE **

                                                                      No comments: