Friday, 18 October 2013

Getting the benefits of therapy

The therapy of understanding therapy
I attended the first of a possible six sessions with a clinical psychologist as a pre-emptive and ameliorative exercise to appreciate my situation and circumstances to chart a course for the future.
It was not difficult for me to get into the conversation after I had filled in an assessment form of multi-choice options. I never ticked any of the extremes, apart the one about way I dress, I do not slack at looking smart.
The rest tended to the sometimes, the somewhat or the possibly categories of the affirmative than the negative which left the psychologist with a bigger job than she would have expected.
Coming from a culture where the idea of therapy has negative connotations of mental illness or worse, one has to work out the benefits of accessing such a professional service with an eye on what outcomes one expects at the end of the sessions.
Realigning perspectives
I convinced myself that considering the catastrophic losses I have suffered in means, in status and much else, I could easily be vulnerable to moods amenable to despair, depression or worse. I could not afford any of those feelings.
As to my outlook, I consider my life a story, I am the main character living the events and making my own history whilst having an eye on the type of ending I desire of my story; a good ending. Every waking moment is towards making that story lively, living and happily liveable doing amazing things.
The form of our sessions will not follow any structure but a series of questions, kind of discussion, interactions and clarifications.
Managing the regret syndrome
The question that is presently on my mind is one I avoid asking because the answers can usher in regrets, regrets of what I might have or could have done before or even done better to forestall where I am.
I do want to learn lessons but not dwell on my past, I need to understand that the present is what I have and from the present, one has many opportunities to chart the future.
This broadened the concept of the Kubler-Ross Model beyond dealing with grief or illness to life itself. The ability to accept where you are, to be able to move on, because one can easily be angry, be in denial, be bargaining or be depressed about one’s circumstances, none of which has the scope to move on.
In all the surveys, I noticed none address hope or expectation that I felt were necessary to deal with the negatives that accompany seeking therapy, they are essential to acceptance and progress.
Rather than regret, I have decided not to condemn myself in the things I have allowed. I know have allowed many things to happen or affect me, but those things just become facets and perspectives of experience and life. They are the elements of the story and hopefully that of the richly lived life.
This is useful
Before I knew it, the hour was up but I found it very useful, she was able to understand me as many stories and recollections painted the collage and the landscape of the type of person I am.
I am beginning to understand the things that matter; what are the means and what are the ends, a time of meditation and introspection will benefit me greatly.
I guess that is what therapy is all about, getting a professional to help unravel the knotty bits. It can give you the lift necessary to appreciate that in the daytime there is a sun shining beyond the gloomy clouds and at night, the moon might be absent but the stars do shimmer beyond the clouds too.
Let us do life and enjoy living it.


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