Thought Picnic: The sentence of death in ourselves

Yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death, and does deliver us; in whom we trust that He will still deliver us. II Cor 1:9-10 [NKJV]

Learning of something

With this in mind he made his way to the place where the first indication with be given of what his life might turn out to be. A salvation with amazing luck of being untouched but the foreboding of sudden misfortune of a life that will change forever.

As he was counselled, he expected no surprises, he almost knew what the result will be, though they were to run another battery of tests again to be sure that what they saw the first time was what it really was.

The nurse came in and gave the news, he was impassive, reflective and quiet, absorbing the news with the stoicism of what next, what next after this and get on with it.

Concern from someone

Without company or support, his lonely world had to grow to share with itself the gravity of happenstance, the nurse himself was moved to tears that the patient became comforter for the sorrow that was felt about him – then he intoned, “This might eventually kill me, but I will not go down without a fight.”

With that, pamphlets of information were gathered and shared, he was to feel anger, be in denial, be despondent, be regretful, feel hopeless, probably suicidal and cycle through every form of despair but through the cloud of this misfortune he felt the pamphlet was missing one thing, the thing that takes you on a journey of life when death is roaring at the door; hope.

Cistern of some hope

He did not know what the next day will bring, the week was further, the month had possibilities, but years were like a dream, something not to be dared in thought or by expectation, but 11 years on after learning, he yearns to keep stern that he might yet earn much beyond concern.

No, it has not been easy, with it has come great loss and privation but in that story told to many to sympathise, to empathise, to encourage and to embolden, they have gone on to do great things too because the sentence of death only hangs over the head of those who have stopped living, where hope abides, we trust that there will be another day, and another day that leads to a week, a month, a year, a decade, some gratitude and great thankfulness.

We are still here, and that is wonderful to behold.