Friday, 27 April 2012

Thought Picnic: Abdominal pangs of anger

Anger pains
I have been wondering why after hot showers I have had this lower abdominal pain without much medical insight as to why, it has always been a strange feeling that I have turned down the heat of my showers not entirely to my showering pleasure, but there goes.
So, it is strange that today, after a conversation on the phone where on one of those rare occasions, I could not care less in annoyance and anger that the same feeling crept upon me.
I am rarely every an angry man, I hope that I am measured, restrained and reserved in most cases. I have learnt long ago that anger is an emotion I do not handle that well; my voice begins to tremble and fade away and my body shakes almost spasmodically to the point that I could lose my voice entirely – it is an experience I have had to the full once before and one I do not need again.
Walking away
However, this morning, I had had it, with all of them, they have been demanded, harassing, threatening and lambasting, each time I have been amenable as each of my entreaties have been met with little understanding or appreciation of my circumstances.
Having acquired under duress my biggest possession, I just needed a little more time to get some affairs in order and I made a humble request to that effect to no avail. They will not lift a finger or even be in the slightest sympathetic and the conversation ended this morning.
So, I called again this afternoon to review the situation and it was more threats and more indifference that I just told them, I will do what I can and the rest they’ll have to handle – the easy rides they have had on my seeming generosity of spirit are over – I can walk away and I will. Some things are just not worth fighting over anymore.

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