Monday, 15 March 2010

A partner drawn through a list of musts


An observer one is
I was reviewing my Google Reader list the other day and happened on one of my infrequent posters with an interesting take on issues.
What jumped out to me was the search for a partner which we all sometimes do in a world where companionship of sorts is an essential component of life.
As an observer and sometimes spectator of life because for so long I do not seem to have successfully fostered a partnership that hasn’t brought me to grief that I have reluctantly opted out of the scheme but maintained interest where I can to help people believe more so in relationships.
For long, I have surmised that break-ups teach you amazing lessons, what you take away from a break-up is usually what you do not want and not necessarily what you desire in the probable next relationship.
Must be, must be
How, with a wry smile, I read all the conditions of a new relationship the writer put down all listed as “musts”.
Yes, must be this, must have that, must do thus, must say how, must think big, must touch not – by the time I got to the 4th must, I was beginning to rule myself out, not for the reasons of qualification by location but by the notion that this innocuous list of expectations began to read as aggressively demanding and high maintenance.
Surely, any relationship might just have the hope of eternity but people would rather be eased into the commitments that lead to lifetime relationships.
The perfect grows on you
We are the products of our experiences and in no way would I begrudge the expectations of anyone who seeks new partnerships.
It is strange how after reading that, I was almost inspired to create my own list of “musts”, then I realised placing insurmountable hurdles in the way of smoothing out possible companionships might well have me looking for the perfect.
Then I remembered, none of my partners were ever perfect when I met them, they became more perfect to me over time till it seemed I could not do without them – then something happened progressively that lead to break-ups – I think.
I have some preferences, probably some expectations; I will pass on the “musts”.

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