Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Ronaldo learns he cannot brag about drag

An idle mind

The truth of an idle mind being the devil’s workshop cannot have been so better realised than in the story of the three-time FIFA world footballer of the year being caught in a scandal.

The football prowess of Ronaldo Luis Nazário de Lima simply Ronaldo as any football prodigy is known – a single name that says it all like Pele or Maradona, legendary and he might soon be on a plinth of adulation as the aforementioned world stars of the beautiful game.

Unfortunately, Ronaldo picked up a knee injury which has left him sidelined and recuperating in beautiful Brazil.

It would appear after a night out; Ronaldo dropped his girlfriend at her house on Monday and then decided to paint the town red or whatever colourful shade you might be persuaded to choose.

Wrong turn, wrong plan

With a person of Ronaldo’s means and status one would think he would go looking for something sophisticated, classy and discrete as gentlemen of that kind of persuasion would do, he throws caution to the winds and picks up three prostitutes.

Every fan of Ronaldo must to wondering with surprise and then with male chauvinistic glee to realise that he is confident that his manhood can tackle three players and score each time – I am exhausted at the thought, already.

Having acquired goods on the street without necessary warranties and guarantees, a trial squeeze of the supposed harbour of mammary glands and a little caress up the thigh revealed that like poles were about to attract.

Guys in drag are not what Ronaldo is about to brag about, it is very much like Ronaldo facing the goalkeeper on his side and sending the ball into the net for an own goal, Ronaldo had picked up transvestites – Ouch! Ouch! Puke up the Viagra.

Caveat emptor

This is very much like yesterday evening when I was out; there are many peddlers of watches, jewellery and gadgets who were going round offering amazing deals. But the thought crossed my mind that many might take up these deals and end up with dud watches, fake jewellery or damaged gadgets.

With no receipts, traceable link to the seller or any means of return, they end up in the serious bad situation of being the buyer caught out for being foolish – there are reasons why it is better to buy things from properly laid out businesses at shops and those reasons are more than just getting cheap stuff.

Smart or fool?

So, Ronaldo in thought over-drive, possibly exacerbated by the plausible psychological problems his knee injury has given him, successfully paid off two of the transvestites but had a hard time with a third business-savvy and opportunistic transvestite who left with Ronaldo’s documents when he refused to buy out his embarrassment in what constitutes both blackmail and extortion.

With proof that Ronaldo has been playing ball in the wrong field, Andre Luiz Ribeiro Albertino gains a profile that elevates transvestism to celebrity and gains probably more that Ronaldo can pay for, but at Ronaldo’s expense.

One must give it to the transvestites for being so convincingly feminine that they were able to persuade Ronaldo of the excitement and pleasure of a trio of commercially available pudenda.

The police would suggest Ronaldo is probably a victim of extortion – I beg to disagree, he is more a victim of himself for being idle, unfaithful and utterly naïve – in those circumstances he was taken advantage of.

Indeed, the legal process should handle the matter of possible extortion but the lame excuse of psychological problems might not persuade Ronaldo’s girlfriend and frankly owning up to the fact that he was looking for fun might just impress me a bit more.

A young man cannot afford to be idle – that is the moral of this tale.

No comments: