Monday, 11 August 2008

Mr. Khadim's calling card

In my post box

I got home this evening after a long weekend away only to find that Mr. Khadim had left his calling card.

Mr. Khadim happens to be bilingual, or so it seems because he had a Dutch message on top of an English notice, presumably a translation which usually would go wrong because during my sojourn in the Netherlands and in my visits to Germany and Spain, the locals never to seek the assistance of English-speakers in crafting their notices.

There have been times that I have found the notices so annoying that I have taken it upon myself to re-write the notice or even replace it before the irritation of reading the stuff leads to something as bad as unintended self-harm.

Anyway, it appears after my blog earlier today, Mr. Sam Edem might have benefitted from Mr. Khadim’s services and not wasted $4 million on a whim.

No payments for this one

Mr. Khadim’s card, reads thus:

Payment after result. May I introduce myself: I am real African, International, very quick medium. I can help you with: return of your beloved people or your lover, your carrier (sic, career, I suppose), examen (sic, examination, I suppose), chance of happiness (sic), sexual impotence, infertility or bad spirits, even when your problem is hopeless. I guarantee you a quick result.

Well, well, well

So, one does not have to pay anything until the results you seek are in, well, I am also a real African and international, I was born in England, I live in the Netherlands, so.

He can help with the return of my beloved people, the ones departed or is it, which one of my ex’s who has gone on with their lives do I want to destroy their happiness to selfishly fulfill mine?

My carrier; well, I fly KLM most of the time, and then I participate in the Sky Team Alliance [Source: Wikepedia] when KLM cannot get me there, or I do not like my couriers, they do not deliver at a place and time of my convenience.

A send-up, it is

Examinations; would that be medical examinations, like show better bloods than I have such that I am picked up for doping even though the most sport I do is walk to the elevator? Ah! He probably meant exams, if I have been studious, surely, I should have no problems with that or I see the answers to the questions on a paranormal teleprompter - now, that is real technology. Errr! is that before or after the exam?

Chance of happiness; if it is still left to chance, I would keep what I have got, I am happy enough and what I cannot sort out I seek alternatives.

Sexual impotence; it works when it is needed, I do not want to go round town like I have a permanent drip-feed of Viagra coursing my veins, as for infertility, I am not looking to have kids, if I have been shooting blanks, all well and good, don't want to hurt anyone.

Bad spirits; ensure the barman opens the bottle in front of you, I had some sherry at a bar a few years ago and well, I saw it all again a few hours later at home – how horrible.

Even when your problem is hopeless, that sounds like a proposition, but I would pass on that because the guarantee is written on such cheap paper, it would appear no one has been getting results.

Mr. Sam Edem, were you seeing Mr. Khadim?

No comments: