Friday, 31 August 2007

A barking rich bitch

Between class and trash

Two grand dames of New York died within a week of each other and the Economist ran an obituary comparing and contrasting both women.

Brooke Astor who died at 105 had an air of comportment, grace and class about her, whilst Leona Helmsley dying at 87 was literally the opposite.

Both had a sense of eccentricity about them, though this only became all the more compelling on the death of the latter.

The rich bitch

Now, the best retort I have ever heard at being called a bitch went thus.

I am married to the witch, we’ve got a cat called snitch and the dog is the bitch.

So the “Queen of Mean” knowing she could not take her money to the grave, gave $5 million each to two of her four grandchildren, cut out the other two for reasons they should know which can never be resolved except in a séance or in court and gave $12 million to her bitch called Trouble.

Now, Trouble had better have some seriously good lawyers, because this would spell trouble unparalleled as the ones left out would scramble to do Trouble out of her well deserved Pedigree Chum gourmet meals prepared by 6-star barking Michelin chefs.

At death which would almost certainly come quickly for all sorts of natural reasons, the bitch shall be interred in the family mausoleum.

Beyond that, $3 million has been set aside to tend the graves, such hubris in death is legendary, it is like dust to gold dust.

Derision follows ultimately

Beyond this is the moral reality with sombre reflection of the fact that the Good Book does say that one should leave in store for the children and the children’s children, this comes by setting your house in order before you depart, something she obviously failed to achieve.

The fact that she could not find anyone of her descendants to take on the upkeep of the dog but her brother who walked away with $2 million less than the dog is interesting to say the least.

Herein, we have a case of those who were rich beyond their dreams and in leaving to the great beyond sowed even more animosity as to bring disdain upon their passing.

This situation presents a lesson and definitely no good example, it would appear, the evil women do can also live after them. How a dog can really survive with the poo-change of $12 million escapes me when Nobel, Ford, Rockfeller, Carnegie & Wellcome blazed the trail of large bequests to humanity for charity, endowment and development.

So much for a life well lived with the epitaph – In all the opportunity she had to bequeath to humanity something to celebrate her memory, all that she had can be summed in one phrase – She left it all to the dog.

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