Monday, 19 March 2007

Royaume Uni null points

I don't watch that

The EuroVision Song Contest is one of those shows that no one would confess to watching but it could as well be a long night, a pyjama party with old friends only allowing for wine or beer as opposed to orange squash.

The preparations which include a contest to sing the song for Europe in the UK does involve a lot of fanfare, however, it is rare for any of the winning songs to show the promise of winning anything out there.

This year, we had a number of has-been stars who had once before had commercial success and won music awards, but there is this self-defeating under-current of trying to expose unknown artistes rather than successful artistes , this left-wing and dogmatic stance just means that we would end up agreeing on the day that our song is no match for the competition.

Anyway, one did not watch the selection show and for the many of us of an unnoticably snobbish disposition, we missed out on the farce that would make the show compelling viewing in May and next year.

Gaffe results in farce

As the contest came to an end, considering the ongoing phone-in scandals that have engulfed The UK and The Netherlands lately, the announcement was made of the winner by Sir Terry Wogan as Cyndi meanwhile the little voice of the co-host annouced Scooch had won.

One thing I have against these telephone voting contests is that not much of it looks transparent, their might be adjudicators and observers but we are not told the total number of calls made and consequently the number of votes each contestant has won before arriving at the suspense-ridden announcement.

This is obviously convenient because it is then difficult to ascertain from a public perspective how much money has been made from the premium rate calls besides other pertinent information.

Bubblegum silliness

Scooch have modelled themselves on the winners of the 1981 song contest - Bucks Fizz whose winning song was the title of the selection show called Making Your Mind Up - But Scooch are what is known as a bubblegum dance group and they lived up to that expectation, the dancing was smarmy, the singing was silly, the lyrics would make the worst nursery rhyme for kids without humour and it will win nothing.

Europeans surely do not want to be aurally assaulted with namby-pamby music when more exciting talent exists, but all gets stifled but officialdom that has its musical trends fossilised in the 1970s - that was 3 decades ago, for crying out loud.

No points no please

Just like the results, if they do make it past the semi-finals in Helsinki, Finalnd on the 10th of May, expect more British humiliation on the 12th of May where Royaume Uni null points would be the chorus from far and near.

There might be one instance of being given 12 points and then that restated as zero points; it so happens, when it comes to the Eurovision Song Contest, we have perfected the art of performing for failure and the only real contestant winning anything is Sir Terry Wogan and his snide and humourless comments which somehow provide for entertainment to many.

Assuredly about Eurovision 2007, I would not be eating my words.

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